Tipping - What would you have done?

[Stephen]

Yesterday I had a horrible meal - the food was great, but the waitress was just terrible. She was good to start, but after bringing us our initial drinks, she never came back till we were almost done our meals -- after we had to flag down someone else.

Our drinks were basically empty when our food was delivered (by someone else) and she walked by us several times and contrary to trying to waive at her. As mentioned eventually we were almost done our meals and we were still thirsty so we went and found someone random who got us our drinks right away, and mentioned something to the waitress later (the table next to us -- also being served by this girl -- was in a similar situation). We finished our food and our son's meal came with a scoop of ice cream. The waitress asked what kind of ice cream we wanted and we told her. She dropped off the bill and we assumed she would bring the ice cream... 15 minutes later she came back with the debit machine (that's right we sat for 20 minutes with our card on the table to pay) and then asked about the ice cream. She said she forgot and she'd get it right away. 10 minutes later, Grayson is fussy, and still no ice cream. I see her at her til thing so I just walk up and say "Don't worry about the ice cream, he's fussy, we have to go." and hand her my card.

So what would you have done? At the point where I waived her down and she kept going, I was very close to not tipping. When she went by one more time and I had to get someone else I told my wife I wasn't going to tip. After she came back after someone talked to her, I decided I would tip, but minimal. Then after she forgot the ice cream (and admitted it) was not going to tip again. We have had this girl before and she's usually been good, so at the last minute I decided I would tip minimal (10 percent). I was curt with her when I paid, but I was an ass-hole. I just said stuff with a straight face and a bit stern - no chit chat as I was paying.

So what would you have done? Keep in mind, you've had her before and she has been good in the past.

NOW - here's a second question. The girl we asked about the drinks seemed to be a manager of some form. I suspect maybe it was a front of house manager though, or something like that as she did seem to have the authority to talk to the server -- but she seemed to be dealing mostly with seating. My bill was not comped and the full price was on there when I was pay. I figured since this was a large chain I wouldn't make a stink at the location, I'd just write the head office and complain later (I wanted to get the f out of there as Grayson was fussy).... so what would you have done? Said something about the full bill, leave it, or something else?

Once you've decided on your answer read on... As I was paying it turns out that the "service manager" came by and noticed that the table was terrible (the plates, the glasses, etc were still there that I had mentioned). She said to my wife something like "this looks like you're done, want me to clear it?" So my wife said yes. The manager asked if there was anything else. My wife filled her in on the ice cream scenario and a few things (very politely too apparently) and the service manager was quite unimpressed with the waitress for obvious reasons. The manager said she'd get the ice cream to-go for Grayson so by the time I got back from paying Krista was waiting for the ice cream. I took Grayson out of the restaurant as he was loud (didn't want to disturb the rest of the restaurant) and while I was outside the service manager also brought the wifey a $25 gift certificate too.... so it was good they made that part right.

[ScottMiller]

Everybody has a bad day but I probably wouldn't have tipped anything. Its good they gave you a certificate. I wouldn't have raised hell about the service as I understand that waiting tables sucks and she has a good history. She just had a bad day most likely. In the moment, I would tell the manager but in hindsight i'd hate to think more stress was piled on someone who was already stressed, all because of me. But I'd also hate to pay the full price and not get that certificate LoL Maybe she just got a stern talkin to instead of a complete reaming.

[Stephen]

Yea I hear ya. We honestly didn't really want anything to happen - but we needed drinks and the closest person is the one I assumed was the front of house manager... as for my wifey talking w service manager, I wasn't there but my understanding was that she basically asked how the dinner was - so my wife didn't lie.

I do hope she didn't get in too much trouble -- my wife did specify several times that we'd had her before and she's usually good.

[JeanetteDiaz]

I'm not sure how servers are paid in Canada, but here in the US, the minimal 10 % would be enough of an admonishment without being cruel. A server here is paid a wage that assumes they are going to be tippedenough to make up the minimum wage. Also, if the restaurant pools the tips, the whole staff would see she's getting low tips and pressure her to step up her game. It's also good you spoke with the manager with an honest critique. If a server gets tipped nothing then they usually assume the person is just a dick.

[Stephen]

My understanding is that it's a bit different here than in the US, but still the wages aren't great for waitresses. One of the reasons I've never not tipped is for the reason you mentioned - probably would just think I'm a douche

[Trekkie]

I think you did the right thing. I've served before and we do rely on our tips and a minimum percentage tells us we screwed up.

[Starsaber]

I had one similar situation when I was travelling for work a few years back. I left a $0.01 tip. It let her know that I didn't just forget but got the point across that I did not appreciate the service I received.

EDIT: Oops, sorry. Didn't notice how long ago the last post was.